Since Ryan and I began discussing having children I have been concerned about the way in which their arrival, and subsequent care, would impact my ability to maintain my own interests, agenda, friends, employment, marriage...etc. We have all heard friends say "Ill never be one of those parents" meaning that they wouldnt fully sacrifice their identity and be just 'so and so's mom/dad.' However, for every friend I have had who has uttered these words I have two that havent been seen since giving birth. I have a 'friend' that I havent seen since she left my house the day I hosted her baby shower and her daughter is a year and a half old. I get the occassional text about how we should get dinner if its before 6:00pm or grab lunch on the weekend if its at a kid friendly location between nap times. I dont get it, heres why: If I am going to make arrangements to go out with my girlfriends I am going to make damn sure that my husband is home to baby sit or that I have a sitter so that I can enjoy a meal free of screaming and diaper changes thus allowing me to indulge in an adult conversation. Am I the only one who feels this way? I have no doubt that I will love spending time with Lincoln and Mac but how do I keep myself from getting sucked into them so much that I cant have an adult interaction?
Dont these moments away from your kids make you enjoy the time you spend with them more? Wont I be happier to come home to them after being 100% removed from the world of babies? I am not talking about going out with another mom and talking about changing diapers, the best way to disinfect bottles and how much they loved having a c-section. I am talking about shooting the shit about life in general, life not revolving around my kids. Since getting pregnant so much has changed. I have given up my job (which I LOVE), moved to a new city away from my amazing friends and now have a body I dont recognize. In a few months I will have a kid on either hip, barf on my shirt and spare diapers in my purse. With all these changes, what will be left of me?
Soccer Saturday
9 years ago
Honey, you have a blog devoted entirely to your pregnancy and preparing for the life of your two boys...
ReplyDeleteWe may already have lost you -- LOL! :)
Yes, but the blog is in place of doing a baby books since I have yet to get them and I am 5 months in. Also, I thought since they are going to be so much like their Auntie Carrie that they would rather heard the ins and outs of the daily grind then read about what color undies Ryan was wearing the day we met and the girth of my gut upon delivery :) I miss you. I wish we were playing Partini with a glass of wine and beating the living day lights out of our boys who find it impossible to carry a tune!
ReplyDeleteMeghan... I honestly remember thinking like that but found that my children quickly became my life. I simply incorporated them into all the activities we loved doing. I missed them terribly when separated from them and I found it nearly impossible to leave them with anyone not my family and declined activities where they were not welcomed. I decided they were the people I most enjoyed spending my time with and that someday they would be grown up and gone. I wanted to squeeze in every available minute of my life spending time with them. Now I miss having them around and have no regrets. I was happy and felt blessed that I could be a full time mother and I, too, left a job which I loved - and never looked back. 20 years are gone in a flash. I remember feeling angry with other parents who couldn't wait for Summer Vacation to end and the kids went back to school and those back-to-school commercials!!!! Ugggh! I couldn't wait for Summer Vacation and hated it when it ended. I am quite sure you will find a comfortable balance. From what I can see you will continue to be the wonderful, interesting and involved individual you are but with three wonderful boys!
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